Dear Lucille,
Well Lucille,Shayne still hasn't turned up and I truly believe that I have been speaking with someone who sounds like her half of the time. What is more, when I called the police yesterday to report that I had heard from her by telephone, the policeman said that it had never been given through that Shayne is missing, i.e., the second policeman, who called by telephone apparently never wrote up the report that Shayne is or was missing. Now there is a new name plaque on the door of her house but there is no Shayne found at her places of former employment or her residence. It makes me feel like "Black Orpheus" in the Underworld search for the deceased Euridice. As you might well know, I have had a website called "blackorpheus.150m.com" for several years. Holland is a little opera stage with little doll people, who come out of the woodwork and fill the streets but never shop. Swarms of these well-heeled people throng the streets whenever I go out. And as soon as I get on the street, my nose starts to run from impurities in the atmosphere. Then, when I think about it, the day Shayne is supposed to reappear at the Theatre Compagnie is Jan. 5, the day before you go off to Hawaii. And if Shayne doesn't show up, who can I tell it too? You would be off, away in Hawaii. Well, the torture has gone on long enough. I give up. I feel Shayne is the victim of foul play but that there will never be a legal pronouncement of such. I haven't taken it in, in truth, but I assume she is gone. If you could have seen my photo, you would know why I feared so much for my daughter.

Dear Lucille,
The problems that still remain behind with my case are the following:1) The unauthorize or illegal deductions from the victim's bank account made in behalf of a victim help organization, like the Aids Fonds, for example. Check to see if victim is registered as a donor and when/why.2) The partial but not complete re-emergence of the victim himself but the suspicion that the victim is still not free or is playing for time. Some of these misgivings come from a dirth of information, discrepancies in information, etc. Could traces be put on the victim's phone calls to me by the police to check the victim's location? For the victim, although supposedly living close by and having a light work duty never seems to be at home and is always not in his/her home and cannot even come by yet to pick up Xmas gifts for the very first time in the victim's life.3) Indications that the victim is secretly the target of an organized group.This is indicated through names used in the media and through broad retro-active red-tape changes that put the victim at a more disadvantage position around the time of the victim's disappearance.4) The feeling that many agencies play a role in keeping a barrier up between the victim and those who are concerned about him/her and who help support him/her by encouraging the victim to assert his flimsy independence and to break off communication with the victim's relatives and supporters. Are there organizations that help promote better relationship between the victim and the victim's relatives through their philosphy or advice? Shouldn't notice be taken of the so-called "friends" of the victim, who always seem to be able to come into contact with the half-missing individual and to be regarded as popular, close advisors, who take over the tasks usually performed by parents but who can never influence the victim to accept or be grateful for the parents contribution to the victim's existence?5) During the worse part of our ordeal, which is still not truly over, we noticed that some institutions took a hard line against the victim's parents, although the parents state that they have reported the person missing to the police. These institutions seem to clam up and to impede answers to simple questions posed by the parents. Should not the possible interest of these institutions in the disappearance of the victim be taken into account?6) Evidence of heavy surveilance and bugging of our telephones, computers, mail etc., which impedes efforts to communicate with the victim. How can persons use facilities and devices, neutral ground so to speak, that are more reliable and surveilance free to aid in contacting the victim?

Dear Lucille,For the record, I received the brochures and literature that was promised to me by the Victim Help Center in the mail today. However, I did not yet receive the cake. Nevermind, for the moment, because I feel as if I have received it and appreciate your effort to send it. Apparently, food is like gold here.I am considering becoming a member of the Victim Help Center, which only requires a small yearly fee of about 17 euros. I still believe we need assistance (or advice) because of the following reaons:1) The partial but not complete re-emergence of the victim himself and the suspicion that the victim is still not free or is playing for time. 2) Indications that the victim is secretly the target of an organized group.3) Evidence of heavy surveilance and bugging of our telephones, computers, mail, etc., which impedes efforts to communicate with the victim.4) The fact that the victim's unusual behavior or stance developed after the victim disappeared. Therefore, the unusual behavior should not be attributed to adult self-assertiveness or prerogative.For instance, Shayne stated she could not come by to pick up her Xmas gifts for the very first time in her life, although she was groping for an explanation for this. There is no viable reason for her not allowing one of her parents to deliver the gifts to her.I bought a pre-paid mobile for her like the one I use. Apparently it is very easy to send SMS messages between the two instruments but I have to wait for Shayne to pick it up. According to I____'s email today, she saw Shayne at Shayne's new house, when you talked to Shayne.Did you complete your review?

Dear Rada,Shayne's new house is on number 149 and I saw her in her new house.Happy new year to you to and to TomGreetings I____

Dear Lucille,I know you will now be making intense plans for your trip. Are any of your students going? You wrote before that many had backed out at the last moment.As I wake up this morning with questions about Shayne still unanswered, I can only think that time is of the essence and I wish you would phone Shayne once more and if Shayne should answer, ask Shayne where she is residing. I will say this, the last time I saw her back in mid October I believe, Shayne was anxious to find and fill in a form pertaining to the new health insurance laws that have been recently passed here. All private insurance has been discontinued and everyone will be required to pay large amounts each month for the state insurance!? I think there was also a donor organ appendix to the form she filled out. I remember, Shayne looked at me and said, "You will also have to take the insurance, too, Rada." Apparently, she had to deliver this form, filled in, to someone. I don't know to whom.Your call was the only call that has gotten through to her of the calls made by members of this family. We can't locate her in person. This is unprecedented, unjustified behavior. There are urgent, unfinished matters concerning Shayne's affairs. I have never known her to be so hard to contact ever before. She gave no indication that she had any intention of cutting off all contact. Our phones are bugged I believe and Shayne has no email or Internet. I____ didn't seem to know her house number exactly. She didn't answer the question, perhaps by oversight, about where she saw Shayne. It is best to get this information from Shayne. You might not reach her. Then there is nothing further that can be done to clear up the matter.

Dear I_____,Thank you.Als ik u goed begrijpt bent u niet helemaal zeker over het huis nummer 149. Dus mischien is deze nummer wel fout.Ik weet dat Shayne haar naam staat niet op de deur van het huis #149. Ook er bestaat geen huis #194.Had u Shayne in haar nieuw huis getroffen of ergen anders? Dat is mijn alle laaste vraag. Gelukkig Nieuw Jaar verder.

Tonight I received the following invitation to a tradeshow in January. I think I received the invitation because of the bid proposal letter you sent to me earlier this year.
LEARN HOW YOUR BUSINESS CAN "DO BUSINESS" WITH PUBLIC AGENCIES (skip intro)
....The free purchasing fair, which is targeted to small, minority and women-ownedcompanies, also will offer workshops on topics geared to conducting business with these agencies and how to successfully bid on requests forthe purchase of products and services.Mastering the Purchasing M___V is sponsored by L__ Air Force Base, theCity of G______, and several other West Valley communities and organizations. Register and mark your calendars now.See the attached flyer and visit www.-----.com/...information and online registration.

Dear Lucille,Just for the record, click here http://-----------/8723x.jpg to view me after the first attack.You see how my conditioned progressed in the space of two days. Notice how wide my nose was at the bridge.After the second attack, I was twice as bad. (no photo availiable)I became completely blind, in addition. This is why I could not direct Shayne's affairs easily.

Well Lucille,Part of what I did for Xmas was to make the photo album CD ROM with an interactive production of Shayne's early play and with resume attached. I thought that was a good way to give a personalize Xmas gift to everyone I know and it took lots of time and effort. I did not have the heart to put up the talking tree again this Xmas but I did think about giving it to Shayne for her apartment. Maybe I will put it up today for Buzzer.I also planned to buy Shayne a --------------- but the lack of hearing from Shayne for 2 months has caused me to put off making the purchase I cannot deliver to her, because I don't know where she is. After our trip yesterday to find Shayne, I discovered that the remainder of the popcorn kernels had been emptied out of the jar. This happened to me before, about 5 years ago, and ever since then I had a craving that half jar of popcorn kernels that had been destroyed when I was out of the house. Thank you for satisfying that craving for me this year.

Well Lucille, I am sorry but taking note of the day's events in an email helps a little.The cake did not arrive yet. But I really thank you in spirit, because it is the same as if I had eaten it, that I knew you sent it. So I have gotten the satisfaction of receiving the cake anyway. I have been like stone, trying to make heads and tails of the "silence." While petrified on my bed, Thomas slipped out of the house. I dozed off. Later he reported he had visited the "Melkweg" and had inquired about Shayne. Always previously, whenever a glitch arose in communicating by phone, the employees at the Melkweg would fetch the roster and give the next date Shayne was expected to come in. Several people attempted to do that this time (whenever I was talking with them on the phone), but one person there, apparently in charge, has blocked them doing it, during this period. Thomas said he challenged their policy by saying a roster is usually made up three weeks in advance. But he didn't get the answer to his inquiry. He told them he was her father but it didn't matter. He then said he visited her house again. I suggested that maybe the house was at 194 instead of 149 as numbers are usually turned around between the Dutch and English interpretations of numbers but Thomas said there was no 194 on the street. He had already checked.I know that Shayne doesn't come into the Theatre Compagnie before Jan. 5, as someone told me that today. With all the illusive work Shayne is doing, I wonder how she found time to go to school?

Dear Lucille,I received the following email today in answer to my queries:"Dear R___,I know Shayne has a new house on hudsonstreet. I also think it is 149. She has to work a lot so I think that is the reason you did not see her at her house.GreetingsI____"

Dear Lucille,I checked one of my Internet email boxes and discovered two letters sent from"GovConectX , sent on December 2.That is the way it is spelled and I don't know this sender. Notice that the word "cox" is part of this address and the extra "X." This is the Cox from Cox and Berry, which I mentioned before.Shayne is definitely in trouble.

Dear Lucille,Find below the letter I sent to I____:"Dear I____,Thank you so much for answering my email and Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you. My mother enjoyed talking with you last night. I have been unable to reach Shayne by telephone. Also her father cannot reach her from his office phone. The problem is that there are a number of important matters, which I need to discuss with Shayne. Her father and I have visited the house at 149 Hudson St but have never encountered Shayne there. I wonder if this address is correct? Do you know whether this address is the correct one or not? When I went to her old house at Admiral de Ruyter 28 (II), I was told she had moved. Or did you see her at the Theatre Compagnie when you talked with her yesterday?Thank you for any help you can give me."

I listened to all the vitriolic things Thomas said about Shayne and me over the telephone to you and I wanted to write this email for the record. I have tried to understand why anyone should try to delay my learning if Shayne is okay or not. I believe it might be so that money can keep be drawn from her account without any suspicion. Before Shayne's absence or disappearance, I noticed a number of unauthorized deductions being made from her account each month. Also, there was a large payment demanded from an automobile driving lessons instructor way in advance from the end of her driving course. Needless to say, I have wondered how Shayne's lessons are coming on. But cannot get in contact with her. So the delay in learning what is going on with Shayne would be helpful to persons who might be making illegal deductions from her bank account, for instance, by using her card or by pilfering from her account.Secondly, I wanted Thomas to stop monthly payments to Shayne's account, because of the suspicion that she is missing and that others are possibly using her account. (Because this happened when Shayne was packed off to Peru for four months.) As I already wrote to you, Thomas said he could stop the monthly payments but not the large trust fund payments, he recently set up for Shayne. Yesterday, I told Thomas, "if you believe that Shayne is okay then you should resume paying the monthly payments back into Shayne's bank account. Put your actions where your mouth is." Then Thomas burst out with a lot of heinous, defamatory, untrue remarks Shayne and said he might as well keep the money himself (instead of paying it to Shayne), since he gets no tax deductions for paying it.I reminded Thomas that I had paid Shayne's fees the first year and there were no problems, until I incidentally mentioned one day that I could deduct these fees from my taxes. After I said that, for some reason, Thomas became very competitive and wanted to stop me from paying Shayne's university fees. Thomas undermined my ability to pay Shayne's fees by asking Shayne to take over the payment of her own fees, in exchange for a hefty monthly allowance paid into her own bank account (I paid Shayne's fees directly to the university). The monthly payments he gave Shayne enabled Shayne to live at an address other than an address with one of her parents. This in turn enabled Shayne to receive loan money from the university, since she would not be living at home with her parents. ?Friends? of Shayne encouraged her to rent space from them, which padded their own wallets. They also encouraged her to get the loan money. I warned Shayne and begged Thomas to tell her to stop receiving loan payments, which were unnecessary and very large sums of money. Thomas was evil and vitriolic and didn't give a damn. I tried to tell him what was going on and he acted always uninterested, indifferent, irresponsible and told me, "that all the students take loan money. It's very common." Only after the bill amounted to 27,000 euros did he finally listened to me and became slightly concerned about the bill. I asked Shayne if she didn?t want me to take her schooling back into my own hands? Shayne nodded agreement. But that was shortly before Shayne took off for the U.S. and I never received the form from the university (due to post office failure) which would have allowed me to handle her school affairs, provided Shayne signed the form. And as always, I seldom saw Shayne after she returned from the U.S. because I was always bedridden after the heinous physical attacks on my person. By the way, my front teeth crumbled suddenly for the same reason, attacks through the walls with a see-through wall camera, using standard global positioning and emmissions from airplanes stationary high above in the sky. By the way, I am not neglectful of myself, but rather, I am the victim of crimes committed against me. Let me remind you, when I inquired at the university recently, I was told that Shayne enrolled in school. But a letter from Shayne?s Post Office Bank Account contradicted this fact. Since then, I have been trying to learn whether she is enrolled or not. Very difficult to determine. But this is not the right time for Shayne to quit, she needs to complete her education one way or the other, because she owes a large debt to the university, which she must pay back at the end of 5 to 10 years. In the beginning, I left the message that there were important matters I needed to discuss with her. Then I stopped leaving messages. Just tried to reach her by telephone. This has become impossible. That is why I suggested you call from the U.S., because I know our phones here are bugged and intervened with. And sure enough, when we got the number right, you got through to her telephone. But you didn?t see her in person nor Ingrid in person. And I can?t help her if I don?t know where she is. Shame on you for accusing me of being an enemy of hers! This is the problem. This is why she always trusted in strangers, because everyone close to her advised her not to trust me.

Dear I_____,Thank you so much for answering my email and Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you. My mother enjoyed talking with you last night. I have been unable to reach Shayne by telephone. Also her father cannot reach her from his office phone. The problem is that there are a number of important matters, which I need to discuss with Shayne. Her father and I have visited the house at 149 Hudson St but have never encountered Shayne there. I wonder if this address correct? Do you know whether this address is the correct one or not? When I went to her old house at Admiral de Ruyter 28 (II), I was told she had moved. Or did you see her at the Theatre Compagnie when you talked with her yesterday?Thank you for any help you can give me.

Dear Lucille,The following message is the one I received today from I____. I thought Shayne was staying with I____, but it appears as if Ingrid was only visiting Shayne. We have never been able to find Shayne in the house at 149 Hudson Street. Maybe the number is wrong. So please, again, ask Shayne were she is residing, if you can reach her by telephone again. Everytime I call, I get Voice.

"Dear R____,I have seen Shayne yesterday, she is doing fine. She is very busy with her house. She told me that when the house is finished, she will invite you to takea look.Greetings to Shayne's grandmother and Tom and a Merry Christmass to you all!I____"

Dear Lucille,We went to the address, Ingrid gave you last year. But we did not locate her house. And the number that was given (2-2 or 22) was not enough to locate a particular dwelling in the complex. Lots of names on the door but no Boulier. So I don't know where Ingrid lives. I'm not sure anymore where Shayne lives; I'm not sure, if I even got the number correct. So the most pressing question to ask Shayne, when you call, is "where is she residing?" Please write down the street and number and name of the house where she is residing carefully. This is the most important question. At least then we could go there, since Thomas is using a few vacation days now. Thank you. I suppose the cake you sent should arrive tomorrow? Thanks again.

Dear Lucille,We went to the address, I___ gave you last year. But we did not locate her house. And the number that was given (2-2 or 22) was not enough to locate a particular dwelling in the complex. Lots of names on the door but no B____. So I don't know where I____ lives. I'm not sure anymore where Shayne lives; I'm not sure, if I even got the number correct. So the most pressing question to ask Shayne, when you call, is "where is she residing?" Please write down the street and number and name of the house where she is residing carefully. This is the most important question. At least then we could go there, since Thomas is using a few vacation days now. Thank you. I suppose the cake you sent should arrive tomorrow? Thanks again.

Dear Lucille,How did your Xmas turned out? I hope you enjoyed your dinner appointment.It was some relief to receive the good news that you had talked with I____ and Shayne after calling the number I gave you. Nobody here wanted to crack eggshells by trying to call Shayne after that, but before you called I had called her number twice without any success. Your achievement gives a glimmer of hope but we still have to push on.... For instance, after your call, neither Shayne nor I____ got in touch with me, so the urgency of the situation might not have been realized by them. Or it may be that they tried to but could not reach us. Certainly something is wrong with the phone connection from this house and possibly from Thomas' office phone in Rotterdam. Eventually, I hope we can find a resolution. But I have to push on because if Shayne can get away with missing a visit to this house during the month of December, it will be an excuse for her to miss visiting this house for all subsequent Xmas'es. That is the way the enemy gains ground. He always breaks a rule and gets away with it the first time. The next time, there can be no argument. I have to push on...I want to see Shayne with my own eyes. Apparently, there are a number of important matters that she must discuss with Thomas and me, one of them being her school enrollment. Another one being her monthly stipend, etc. As far as the information I could get by calling her places of employment, she does not have a heavy schedule during this time. No one could assure me when she would be coming in. I have to push on....a voice is not a reliable means of identification, because the girl who answered Shayne's phone one time (when Shayne was not there) sounded rather like Shayne. So I won't be satisfied until I see her with my own eyes. The other point is, that this modus operandus for communicating and keeping in touch is not adequate. One is never too old to tell relatives that one expects to be traveling or going far away. You do it. I do it. Everyone else does that. Faulty telephone apparatus should not justify Shayne being typecast as a completely uncooperative and stupid person, because you have to be stupid (or a hostage) to think you should hide that sort of information. It might prove useful if you could manage another call to her sometime this week and just mention to Shayne that Thomas and I have gone to the police with the matter. Never before, when we threatened to take the matter to the police has she refused to turn up. And we don't want to change that attitude. The closing of the ranks of some of the institutions (including the opening msn page on the Internet) and places she deals with portends that this is still and really is a serious drama and it needs to change in the future. (And, if at all possible, ask her if she remembers who her teacher was at Indianola Elementary School? And can she say who Sybil was? Or ask her something about a gift you might have given her once, long ago? Something that will help me to know it is her. The answers to questions like these examples might help me to be more reassure.) Basically, she needs to come by or arrange for an appointment for us to meet her somewhere or pick her up by car.In the future, I think I might can improve the communication system. But, you know, Shayne should know that we always expect to talk with her at least once in the month of December.Sincerely,

Dear Lucille,Good luck on your trip. Just one last thing about Shayne. Her possessions, where are they? They are not at her old address, as the man said she had moved away. They do not appear from the street to be in her new house. It is a rather dilapidated building in a multicultural neighborhood. I asked Thomas to look for the receipt for Shayne's computer, as only he would have it. He refused. The receipt would give information about the year, brand, etc.

Dear Lucille,I better tell you the rest of the story this morning, before I turn to lead. Simply I packed up the gifts you sent and went bt bus to the address Shayne had given me, 149 Hudson Street. Another name stood by the bell. There was a 149 (I), a 149 (II) and a 149 (III). I chose the middle one and rang. Then I pushed the buzzer on the large outside door. Then I phoned from the mobile. Crossing the street and looking up to the second floor level, the apartment looked unoccupied. The window coverings were not complete. I rang her using the mobile again. No answer. I also looked at houses 147 and 141 to see if her name might be on the mailboxes there. Since I received one of those "don't phone" messages just yesterday, only two things can be true: 1) either Shayne is okay or 2) either the message was fake and a deliberate ploy to cause disinterest in her welfare.The Theatre Campagnie had huge oriental looking signs on it but was dark when I was out around 10:00 this morning.The RED CROSS is closed until after January 2. I called the British Embassy. And reported her missing to someone who answered.

Dear Lucille,I suppose I have been rather inconsiderate, expressing all my activities and beliefs. But it does enable me to keep a record of the events, as they happen each day. It is amazing what facts can be forgotten after a couple of days, if they aren't written down in some way or other.Today, someone from the police called and I reiterated my concerns about Shayne. He said he believed she just didn't want to talk to me. I then added that she also behaved the same way to her father's calls. And that no one I know can ever get past a Voice message or busy signal. He said he would do what he can do.I tried to call Shayne again after that talk. And for one second, a voice said, "Rada, I told you, stop calling me." Or something to that effect. And then the horn was set down. Afterwards, I reflected on this call and I decided that what was wrong was that it didn't allow any interactivity. I had no opportunity to even say, "Hello." It could have been a recording.I decided to go by her house to see if she were home. But before I could go out the door, I received another phone call, this time from someone from the Victim Help Center. I reiterated my story to him. Then he asked, but what did I make of the reponses I got. I said, "I think they are a trick. I never have any opportunity to respond nor to say 'hello.'" I told him I was planning to go to her last address to see if she were home. He said, "I wish you could go by her new home too. Do you know what her new address is? I told him. And he said, "Oh, Hudson Street...it is by Stadium plein, out along the Amstelveenseweg, etc" I told him, that's far away, Shayne had said it was near her old house. I couldn't go there today but maybe over the weekend. He then said he was sending brochures, such as one from the Red Cross, with information. Laborously, I packed my things. Transferred things around in the house, because there is not a good lock on the front door and people have come in the house before when I was out of it and they get into my things. Once someone left a racist letter in the printer beside the computer. Thomas has always refused to put an additional lock on the door. So it is always an anxiety for me to go out. Eventually, I packed up, wearing two layers of clothes, so as not to find any of these clothes items possibly contaminated after I returned. If they were on my back, I knew they would be safe. But I forgot to look at a map, which was unfortunate. My eyes are very bad. I have to wear Tom's thick, bi-focal glasses to read anything.I walked up the street and passed the Theatre Compagnie, which looked rather intact. Next door to it, was the new addition with big bay windows, which looked still in operation, contrary to Thomas' claim that he could not find it on the street. It was dark inside, but it was there. So that settled the matter about Shayne's new place of employment at the Theatre Compagnie. It was still there.Next, I took the tram to go to Shayne's house. I rang the bell. I expected the left door to open but the right door opened. I wondered if something had changed but I walked in and called up, a black man called down and said, Shayne had moved, she was at the Mercator Plain. The name sounded familiar but off-hand, I could not remember where that was and it was different from what the man from the Victim Help Center had reported. I thanked him and left and returned home. I did not ask about Shayne's former roommate, whom I had talked to briefly on the phone recently at the Theatre Compagnie and whom I believe was probably the one, who would answer the phone the subsequent times I called but then place the receiver down. I had been surprised to encounter her at the Theatre Compagnie number, because I didn't know she worked there. But I guess she wasn't at home, because she or sometimes her brother were the ones who usually answered the door. The first thing I did, after getting back, was to get a map and I saw that Mercator Plain was only two more tram stops up from her old house address but I could not exit the house again. I have decided to try again over the week-end. So tomorrow or Sunday, I or Tom will visit the new house address and see if Shayne is there.One point I want to make, is that the whole way of communicating and living is not satisfactory. It is too hard to get Shayne on the phone and I know she would answer the calls from you from the U.S. You get a different signal from here, so I know your calls are not actually getting through. On the other hand, sometimes we also get varied, unexpected signals. There are a lot of hidden microphones apparently in this house from the amount of extraneous voices and sounds heard over the equipment here. Also, once when I gave my mobile phone to Tom and told him to call the house from the grocery store, he got Voice instead of ringing through to the phone here. The phone didn't ring here but it should have. Not long ago, men were working in the street for the umpteenth time, changing the cobblestones. Afterwards, neither broadband nor the phone connection worked in this house. It was some trouble to reach a company to connect us back. But the connection has been dodgy ever since. So I don't trust the phone communication and it is not sufficient. If Shayne is in her new house, she can have a modem and get Internet. And then at least I could send Emails to her. Being unable to talk to her has delayed a transfer of this additional equipment to her house. It was always so pleasant and normal to talk to her prior to a couple of months ago. I believe she has been greatly misrepresented by faulty and bugged or hacked communication systems.

Well,Thomas just came in (9:30) but now at 10:30 he says he is too tired to take a run by Shayne's house to see if she might be there.On the living-color Xmas TV guide, there is a picture of a beautiful Virgin Mary holding a dark brown baby reindeer with a large red nose and antlers just peaking out of his head. At first, he looks like a goat, or a black baby or a devil. I think it is Rudolph the red nose reindeer, too young to pull a sled being taken to the bosom of heaven. What do you think?

Dear Lucille,In connection with the Shayne problem, I have taken the following steps today:I did not go to the Police but I did call Shayne's place of work 3x; the first time, I wasn't given information about her schedule and they wouldn't or couldn't leave her a message; the second time was at night (I was told to try then) a male voice said he had just talked with her and if I tried calling her, then, I would probably reach her I called but got Voice I called her company again and this time a woman's voice said she was not there and she didn't know Shayne's schedule (usually a roster is found with her scheduled activities) but the voice added that she must not be coming in tonight, because someone else was at the cash register machine.
I called Shayne again and this time, a swoosh sound came through and then the "horn" was put down
I tried again. Again, a wind like sound and in the background a voice or two. I shouted, "I can't hear. I can't understand." Faintly I heard a male voice, speaking Spanish to someone in the background. Then the receiver was put down.
I tried again, but this time, I got Voice.
I call Shayne 6 times in total (described in the above passage)
call Vodaphone to learn if they knew whether my number is blocked on her instrument . Vodaphone said they couldn't give out information but after explaining I didn't need personal info, he said: my number was not blocked through them (customer service) failed to call the university. As I wrote you at the time, I was told over the phone that she was enrolled but the person who told me that refused to send a receipt to me. Just before I had spoken with another woman who said Shayne was not enrolled and I had asked if she could become enrolled late? That was still a possibility. But when I called back (in two minutes), another lady answered and said that Shayne was indeed enrolled. So my point is I was told that Shayne was enrolled, so why is she not enrolled?etc.
I failed to tackle the Post Office and their unauthorize deductions from Shayne's account. I will get back to that another time.
I failed to warn Shayne that I her PIN code, if known, can soon be used to invade her account and to get a card, which would legitimize the identity thief's possession of her account. Sincerely,

I also see a sign in the World Trade conference recently and the ending of the strike of the transit workers today. The W=T T=W formula.

Dear Lucille,I see where the "cock and bury" expresses comes in, in this situation. There has been a lot of news about "Blackberry" mobile phone company. But I had missed the "Cox" or "Cock" in the news. Then it occurred to me just now, that "Kok" the premier of Holland would be the unstated "Cock." Thus "Cox and berry" refers to a black "Kok and bury" in Holland. "Blackberry, "kok." Add this to all the news about Shayne Ward on the Internet and Shane Black in a recently released movie. These are the media signs that they mean business here in Holland.

Dear Lucille,For the record, let me see if I can sum up the results of my search for Shayne for today. First, let me say that some kind person from the university answered my email requesting info about Shayne's enrollment by stating he would forward my email on to a student deacon, who might be able to help. I can't mail a registered letter until Saturday normally and was refused an email address upon request of one, so I sent a message by email to another division in the university which published an email address. Next, remembering that I heard voices talking from some electronic aparatus around computer table yesterday, which I told Thomas about, I noticed similar funny sounds today also. For instance, while calling the number of the Theater Companie (Theatercompagnie) where Shayne used to work and where I had the incident of a quip response from Shayne two Saturdays ago along with the picking up of the receiver and slowly putting it down three times by another person there, which I mentioned to you already. Today, I noticed that the automatic Voice message attached to the Theatercompagnie's phone is now gone. The phone rings but no one answers and the recorded message was not in operation today. The company next door where she had been promoted is apparently there no longer, as I already mentioned.I struggled to type in this phone number (Theatercompagnie) on my mobile and while doing so, I also heard the sound of typing coming from the mobile phone instrument in the background. This was an extraneous sound. Never heard before (like the talking sounds I heard from around the computer table yesterday). I called a Victim Help Center (concerning missing persons) and was told that someone might contact me for an appointment today or tomorrow.I visited the Police website for missing persons, where I read the procedure for asking that a name be added to the list.Then I called Shayne's number and very quickly got a message of about 1 second, stating not to call again and something said too quickly to even follow. And then the receiver was hung up. But to me, the voice sounded mechanical and like a repetition from a conversation I had with her previously a couple of months ago, after I had had a reasonable length conversation with her a couple of days before. So I called back and said that I have important messages and that she must appear in person or let me communicate the messages to her, for me to believe that she is not still missing. Just now I called the Melkweg again (also this morning) and someone answered and said Shayne was not on the roster for this week. And she asked, "Would you like for me to call her and ask her to call you, right now?" I thanked her and waited about ten minutes but received no call, so I called back, but this time another person (?) answered the phone and said her colleague had just left and that info about Shayne or something can't be given. Since talking to her, a half hour or more has gone by and I have not yet received a call. I figure, Shayne would answer a call from a colleague at her work. I also figure that a pre-recorded message with Shayne's voice (such as "don't call again") would not work on a phone call from someone other than me, so I was anxious to hear if this person had actually talked with Shayne and given her the message. Well, I don't know. Apparently not. Like so many other trails, this trail peeters out too.So that is the state of affairs at this time. I have asked Thomas to take drastic procedures in his own hands to see that her monthly allowance or financial contributions are halted, as soon as possible. When she shows up, then of course we can resolves things. I hope he won't drag his feet over this.Xmas is really a hell here. I am so depressed I can hardly move during the day.

Dear Lucille,In logging onto the Internet, unfortunately, I was greeted with a photo of Shayne Ward again, this time with the number "13" printed in the background. "13" represents "war" to me. By sending this, I am keeping a record of the suggestive, inuendo's I am faced with. It seems to me that some all-powerful, spying entity is focussed on me and laughs at my ordeals

Dear Lucille,I had to re-write the last letter for clarity's sake (see below):I haven't yet read your email letters today, since your telephone call. I find I am turning to concrete and beginning to crumble in with all the evasion I am getting on all fronts. I've already described to you the university incident, where policy about reporting to a parent (with student ID) about the student's enrollment in the school or not has suddenly become forbidden. Well, I called the Melkweg(Shayne's sometimes place of employment) again tonight, to ask if I might speak to Shayne. I got a friendly person on the phone, who knew Shayne and who knew immediately she wasn't working this night, because there was only a movie on tonight. Then she offered (as used to happen) to get the roster to view when Shayne would be in. She was away for several minutes but when she came back, she said she was unable to find the roster. I asked if calling back later would make a difference? Apparently not. Then I suggested I call tomorrow night to inquire if the roster has been found. Let me add, that, last night when I called and got a man and a different woman on the phone, I left the message behind, for Shayne, that I had called the police and would be forced to go to their office, if I didn't hear from her. To me, these evasions help show the real plotters behind Shayne's silence. The institutions and places of employment and residence. This is because the whole society takes orders from an unofficial, unelected boss, who controls the economy, the food and employs persons throughout to be unofficial "spies" against foreigners. That reminds me, I guess I will have a try at the British embassy. Oh no. That probably won't work because all the embassies were sold to the East too. For years, there were only about 30 embassies in the country but a couple of years ago, after the UN deployed here, there suddenly sprung hundreds of embassies into existence. None of them operate along the traditional lines. In short, everything here is a drama on a theater stage. All the power is really in the hands of A___ and the U___. But officially there is still a Dutch government. On the other hand, some of the main personalities have apparently been replaced by clones. But that is another story.

Dear Lucille,I haven't yet read your email letters today, since your telephone call. I find I am turning to concrete and beginning to crumble in with all the evasion I am getting on all fronts. I've already described to you the university incident, where policy about reporting to a parent (with student ID) about the student's enrollment in the school or not has suddenly become forbidden. Well, I called the Melkweg, her sometimes place of employment again tonight, to ask if I might speak to Shayne. I got a friendly person on the phone, who knew Shayne who knew immediately she wasn't working this night, because there was only a movie on tonight. Then she offered (as used to happen) to get the roster to view when Shayne would be in. She was away for several minutes but when she came back, she said she was unable to find the roster. I asked if calling back later would make a difference? Apparently not. Then I suggested I call tomorrow night to inquire if the roster has been found. Let me add, that, last night when I called and got a man and a different woman on the phone, I left the message behind, for Shayne, that I had called the police and would be forced to go to their office, if I didn't hear from her. To me, these evasions help show the real plotters behind Shayne's silence. The institutions and places of employment and residence. This is because the whole society takes orders from an unofficial, unelected boss, who controls the economy, the food and employs persons throughout to be unofficial "spies" against foreigners. That reminds me, I guess I will have a try at the British embassy. Oh no. That probably won't work because all the embassies were sold to the East too. For years, there were only about 30 embassies in the country but a couple of years ago, after the UN deployed here, there suddenly became hundreds of embassies into existence. None of them operate along the traditional lines. In short, everything here is a drama on a theater stage. All the power is really in the hands of A___ and the U___. But officially there is still a Dutch government. On the other hand, some of the main personalities have apparently been replaced by clones. But that is another story.

AND one seems to see the real issues here but myself. If I believed Shayne was doing this of her own free will, then I would want to find out why. As there was no conflict between her and me. Obviously, I believe she is under the thumb of other persons. For instance I am hearing on the TV now about three school children in Japan who were recently beheaded. Just as I was writing you, this news started blasting loudly from the TV. Now there is news about teenage girls being shot, etc. I wonder if the TV is trying to talk to me. My own situation is one for the Guiness Book of records too. The truth about what happens can seldom be told. The victims cannot always behave as they should, because they are not free. And the people doing the crimes, we all know who they are, but they can never be bought to justice. And to verify this, some person just said this on TV, as if to echo my own sentiments. My point is, that criminals are helped when friends desert you in troubled times. And the criminals are usually based within large support groups, they hide behind the petticoats of the respectable citizens.Well for all it's worth, I walked to the Police office tonight and reported my concerns, in the hopes of preventing a disaster, if it is not too late. Just living indefinitely without hearing another word from someone is a true hell and not acceptable. I could wait another two months. Maybe she would turn up. Or maybe she wouldn't. How could I know. I just don't know that she is okay, because I haven't seen her with my own eyes and voices can be imitated. My common sense tells me, she ought to care about gifts, money, her education, police, etc. To messages of this sort, we have received no answer. So, I must kick the dust from my feet and say simply that to me it is outrageous. And it is even more outrageous to think a person would behave like that on his own free will. I focus on the fact that Shayne wasn't at work tonight, because of the conversation I reported to you in another email. And tso I know, everyone is only talking to a voice. And if she is the person behind that voice, no one really knows.I also know she has lived in an unusual environment, one that ravaged my normal looks and broke every bone in my body. So I can't blame her for however she turned out. It is pitiful that the norm for civilized or decent seems to have disappeared for such a large portion of the world. The food we eat is indecent. The quality of life we have is indecent. Every day it gets more indecent all over the world but few people seem to see that. The rest of the people are so tough, so well prepared for this indecent world.

I forgot to add, that after trying to call Shayne and while looking for papers around this desk, I heard a voice (real faintly) talking in the background, coming out of the equipment here. I couldn't locate the exact place. So, you know, I think this place is bugged.

Dear Lucille,Could you try to telephone Shayne? Her number is 0-11-31-06 ________.I don't think you will get through but I am trying to determine if certain numbers are blocked on her mobile. I am trying to find a phone which can get through to her, if possible. Thanks in advance. It will probably be quite late here by the time you phone, because we are 6 hours ahead. I have to decide whether to try to drag myself to the Police or to put it off, which might not be a good idea. The lack of front teeth and other physical problems make it a drag to go out. What is more there is no security, because other people have keys to this house. Thomas is still uncooperative. He just falls into a tirade against Shayne, accusing her of never getting good grades, etc. But the issue is that she was not enrolled, not her grades. And I wrote to you about my phone conversation with the university, which had told both Thomas and me on separate occasions that she was not enrolled. And then finally I got someone, who confirmed she was enrolled. But I needed confirmation from Shayne. Shayne had to call and ask for a receipt. I never reached her, even up to now. I left a message over Voice but never got an answer and then last Saturday that 2 minute talk I described to you.

Dear Lucille,I have still been unable to reach Shayne by telephone even though I called at the appointed time. But I think I know what might be wrong. Last night, on the Internet, in a discussion forum, someone asked how to block unwanted calls to a mobile phone. The answer was to dial "76" before the unwelcome number to block calls from that number. To unblock the number, you have to go into the directory on the mobile and make some changes. I remember that one time I called Shayne, someone else picked up her phone and said she was out. I wonder if calls from this number could have been blocked by other persons, who sometimes handle Shayne's device?Today, a letter came from the Post Office, stating that Shayne's student account had been stopped because, either 1) she was 30 years old or 2) she was no longer enrolled in school. So I assume she is no longer enrolled.I tried to share this information with Thomas but typically he bawled me out and was impossible to talk to.I also noticed that on the statements from her post office account, every month a fixed amount was taken off for three charities: greenpeace, aids and pioneers. I asked Thomas, "Don't you think that is strange, that every month an amount is deducted, when she owes 27,000 euro to the university?" Again, he did his ostrich head in the sand trick. I said, "And look, the "accept-giro" cards (i.e., the bills) have never been signed by her. They have never been sent in to the Post Office. I concluded, the money is being deducted without her approval, because all this time, it was hard to notice, because it is only 5 euro or 7 euro's per charity a month. But usually a gift is a one-time affair. Needless to say, Thomas thought I must be crazy to think the deductions for charity each month were strange.But I think, there are workers in the post office company who are making these deductions without having been giving the permission, as I have the bills right before me and they weren't filled in.Then I said, "Don't you think that Internet Bank Account she opened up is uncanny, because she doesn't have the Internet and she can only use it at the university, where she is no longer enrolled?" But Thomas didn't see my point. In fact, he thought I was crazy, as you can use Internet anywhere, in libraries, etc.But then, I thought about the fact that she had just received an ad from the post office, saying that for Internet accounts, one can now make one's own pin card. You can upload a photo by the Internet and receive your card in 6 days. Well, if some else has Shayne's pin number, they can have a card made up with their photo, to use at machines, for id, etc. Very easy for someone already working with the company. Well, Thomas was impossible, since he denies facts, even though they are standing before his very eyes. I said, "You force me to call the police to preserve my sanity." Thomas said, "The police will arrest you, for even opening up Shayne's mail. You can't do that."So I called the police. I sounded kind of incoherent but I was advised that because Shayne is 24 and spoke (possibly, if it were her) for a few seconds with me before hanging up last Saturday, that there is little they could do but if I came in, they might write it up for their files. Meanwhile, Thomas went to bed. So I am writing this letter to you. As you know, I called the university about her enrollment and finally reached someone, who said she was indeed enrolled. Ever since then I have been leaving messages and trying to get through without success. Now, it is too late. And today, even this evening, we still can't reach Shayne. I wish I knew what to do. I guess I will call another place she works sometimes. Clearly, she seems to be surrounded by people who aren't really her friends.

Dear Lucille,Thomas opened his box today and it was a beautiful and useful top you sent to him. He only has a couple of pull-overs, one of which he wears practically all the time. Thank you very much. Today, Sunday, I fell fitfully asleep after being up all night. I did not try to phone Shayne at all. I have a mobile phone too. But it also is unreliable. It keeps going dead, even though it is kept plugged all the time.Well, thank you again for being the true spirit of Xmas. I hope Xmas will be a restful and rewarding time for you. I know Shayne would be happy if she were able to be with you again this Xmas. Having not seen her, I was unable to tell her about your invitation. You see, there is a synchronization of important things I wish to share with Shayne and my inability to see her at those times, which makes it all the more frustrating.

Dear Lucille,I opened one box. The black, pull-over sweater and top seem very suitable and a better choice could not have been made. Thank you. It seems that I just can't go at the speed the rest of the world goes at and so I am running behind this Xmas. I decided to give both of the small boxes to Shayne and I hope she will drop by around Xmas. Today an ultimatum concerning her stipend was left for her over the Voice. Her driving lessons, her schooling, her new house supposedly....what is going on, I don't know. Unless we know she is okay, it seems foolish to keep depositing money into her account, an account which other people have had access to in the past. As usual, I am still dabbling around on the computer. I am building a new site, concerning the online pre-school club. I used a small photo of Shayne and you to liven the site up. But neither of you is identified by name. Everytime, I fly off in a new passion, I realize, nevertheless, that I am still living with a great uncertainty...Shayne's well-being. But the situation has been out of my hands. I feel a lot of resentment that people can be taken "hostage" in the way she has or beaten up, the way I have been, in the so-called civilize world. There is no excuse, other than a criminal act, for parents not being able to communicate with their children or for people to be mutilated with technology. There has been no animosity between Shayne and me. I would love a piece of home-made pound cake. They stop selling it in the supermarkets in our neighborhood. One could buy a small pound cake fifteen years ago. Then the supermarkets started closing, moving, changing. I haven't had an pound cake since 1990. I will listen to the tape you sent to put me in the spirit for Xmas. Thank you again.

Dear Lucille,I took every package out of the box with delight. Because of your great thoughtfulness, everyone here might be able to enjoy a little Xmas spirit. I put off opening the box, because I was working through the night and I knew I needed a good knife, etc. and I didn't want to rush at the box. After I placed each item on the table, (mind you, neither Thomas nor Shayne has seen all the goodies yet), Buzzer showed keen interest in the styrofoam filling. She likes me to thread one at the end of a string and then she leaps at it. So, even Buzzer got something out of that package. I still haven't peeked inside the boxes, but I have unwrapped the pecans and pop corn and candy canes. Sitting out on the coffee table, it seems as if the holiday season has come by here too, this year. So thank you heartily. You really made this season for us.

Well, I have to send more of that article, because it gives a solution to the problem I have but also shows how some people are more privileged than others and can protect their kids, even though they share the planet with people like me. This is why other people don't seem to have the same problems, they are well protected...

"About the same time, the director of the Enterprise Charter School in Buffalo began using the electronic tags to monitor the movements of students. Every student has to wear an ID card containing the tag. When they arrive at school, the tag triggers a kiosk to record their presence and display their photos. The same technology is used in a Texas jail and on wristbands to track prisoners of war in Iraq. For the school, it's about security and efficiency. "Before, everything was done manually - each teacher would take attendance and send it down to the office," the school's director Gary Stillman told Wired.com. "Now it's automatic, and it saves us a lot of time."A firm called SAMSys Technologies, meanwhile, uses the tags to create an all-purpose surveillance tool for amusement parks called the SafeTzone System. Everybody at the park would get a SafeTzone Locator, a watch-size tracker. Parents could use it to find their kids on an electronic map, buy goodies for them without pulling out their wallets, and cut down on waiting times for rides. They bill it as a combination of gee-whiz and surveillance, in one tiny package. 'The SafeTzone System is making the entertainment park experience more enjoyable and less frustrating for families and groups.'"

Article continued below (note the line about devices being embedded into paper money, etc......

"Driving home in that new Cadillac?If so, you're probably taking advantage of the global positioning system like Smith's because, after all, it's pretty nifty technology. At home, you can't resist buying that sweater or book or "sensual gift" from a catalogue for your spouse. And when you call the 800 number to order, their computers are recording and taking note of everything: your phone number, name, voice, and key words that you use. That's because the phone, linked to computers, has become a sensor, too.It's no stretch to say the future of data collection - one part of it, anyway - is embedded in the rubber casing of Smith's Volvo key. It's a radio frequency tag built into the key as part of an anti-theft system. Without the key in hand, thieves would have a much tougher time starting the computer-laden car. It's a modest example of a much larger trend. In just a few years, these tags have become cheaper and better, and they're spreading fast. That's in part because they don't need a power source to work. Unlike the transponders used for electronic tolls, the tags need only to be scanned by a low-power device. They echo back the information they contain, extraordinarily long strings of unique numbers and codes. Those codes provide links to files already on computer servers, enabling someone doing the scanning to know precisely what object or person they have encountered. The latest tags can hold 128 bits. That's a very big number - bigger really than you can imagine. It means, Smith said, that virtually everything in the universe could be labeled with a tag containing a unique number.There's no end to the potential use of these things, which means that there is no end to the kinds of product monitoring or personal surveillance by companies, law enforcement, or private investigators. Such thinking has naturally stoked industry expectations. Some observers estimate spending on the tags will jump from $91.5 million in 2003 to $1.3 billion in 2008. Even discounting for hype, that's a lot of tracking. Like 6 million other people, for instance, Smith also has something called Speedpass to automatically pay for his gas at Exxon. Manufacturers are already putting RFID on pallets to ease logistics. Instead of having to read a label and record something in a computer, a worker only has to pass a wand within a few feet to record exactly what's on the pallet, where it came from, where it's supposed to go. (Indeed, when linked to databases, there's literally no end to the information that could be appended to the ID code at the moment a wand apprehends it.) In 2003, retail giant Wal-Mart mandated that suppliers begin using RFID starting in 2005 to improve efficiencies and cut down on costs. The Defense Department followed suit, saying that its own top suppliers had to begin using the technology in January 2005. The Food and Drug Administration, meanwhile, said it is studying the feasibility of putting the devices in drug containers as part of a "track and trace" program to prevent counterfeiting. Casinos are in on the new technology. Gambling chip makers have begun manufacturing chips containing the ID system both to fight fraud and to monitor high rollers.Radio frequency chips and readers likely will also be components in the "virtual border" to be created as part of the border surveillance program called U.S. Visit. Accenture, the giant consulting firm that won the enormous contract to build the system, used its familiarity with RFID to help distinguish itself from other contractors.Some companies already are talking about embedding the devices into paper currency. Hitachi produces a chip that appears suited to that task. The Japanese company sent out a vial containing perhaps one hundred of them. At first glance the vial looked empty; only on closer inspection was it apparent the chips were in there, off to one side, black and minute. They looked like fleas."

Dear Lucille,After I wrote you, I was reading an article on the Internet and I will just quote from it here. Maybe it will indicate to you, what I mean by "stalking."

"Smith is a former computer programmer, an Internet specialist, a nerd of a very high order. At forty-eight, he has a beard, bushy eyebrows, and a serious demeanor that masks a ready sense of irony and humor. He has devoted years to the study of data collection and surveillance networks. In the late 1990s, it was Smith who uncovered the technical underpinnings of several surreptitious methods of tracking people online, including something dubbed "Web Bugs." He found code in Microsoft Word documents that showed who had handled them. Then as a computer consultant he began tracking the accelerating convergence of many commonplace electronic devices and networks that collect information about us.In short, he is one of the very best at watching those who watch us, a technical guy who understands the deepest implications of the data revolution and the partnership between government and the information industry. "What has changed is that we might have a thousand times more data for law enforcement to work with," Smith said. "And human beings have never lived in that regime before."That perspective made him an excellent surveillance tour guide of New York that day, in late summer 2003. It took him no effort: finding sensors on the Upper West Side was as easy as spotting pigeons in the park. They were everywhere, electronic sentinels, absorbing information about so many individuals and sending it to databases, public and private, as the digital fuel for our emerging surveillance society. Smith got into his own car, a Volvo, and pulled out some electronic "goodies" he keeps handy to demonstrate his ideas. One device was a global positioning system, or GPS, receiver that, when connected to a laptop, tells him exactly where he is at any given moment. It was a two-year-old model that cost about $100 when he bought it. It had enough storage to hold the equivalent of about 6 million pieces of paper filled with information. That's relatively small compared with what he could have bought for $100 that day: a new system with four times the storage capacity. Then he showed off a wireless camera. It was smaller than the one he noticed at Starbucks, a cube about as wide across as a postage stamp. Operating on a 9-volt battery, he said, it can broadcast a television signal up to 200 feet.He started his car and drove south toward the Lincoln Tunnel, not far from the Empire State Building. The global positioning system was on and tracking our every move. But Smith was not as impressed with it as he used to be. New cell phones, he said, can be programmed to transmit their location every few seconds to the mobile network. He steered his way through the tunnel and, on the New Jersey side, went to a tollbooth.Government agencies have been collecting tolls forever at bridges, some highways, and on ferries. Until the early 1990s, the vast majority accepted only coins and currency. The point was to collect money. Now the role of tollbooths is evolving. More and more, they're also becoming a matter-of-fact part of a security and law enforcement infrastructure as digital checkpoints. Cameras are often pointed at drivers' faces and their license plates. When drivers use an electronic transponder such as E-ZPass to automatically pay the tolls, they're also handing over information about themselves.That's what happened, with zero fanfare, when Smith drove slowly by the booth. The transponder, held against his windshield, sent out a signal that he was coming. The system knew it was his car, because he had previously registered and shared his bank account number. The technology in the tollbooth took note of the identification number and exact time and location that the car passed by. In the vast majority of these transactions - and there are millions of them every day now in the United States - drivers get what they pay for: convenience. Millions of transponders have been issued since the E-ZPass system was first installed in the New York region in the early nineties. On some days, more than eight of ten cars going into Manhattan use them. They're not just for tolls anymore. Fast-food customers use transponders to charge snacks, while airport parking lots use them to deduct fees. "It has just revolutionized the way our operation is run," a transit authority official said."

Don't misunderstand me,I didn't say I believe Shayne is Okay. On the contrary. What I said was that, anyone could look at me and see that I am not in the position to be able to help anyone. Possibly, she sees that I am not one who is powerful enough to help her. People fall into tremendous hells. This situation is completely intolerable and wrong. I have stressed over and over how normal the conversations are when I see her in person, although for very short periods. And I have stated how the things she intended to do at those times have not been followed up on, even when they are things that have great bearing on her welfare. Messages that I leave her over the phone apparently don't reach her. The communication is unreliable and is probably tapped by the people, who plague my life all the time. I see this hell as torment designed to crush my spirit when little else normally could. I mind my own business. I never go out, because I can't and always did mind my own business. This group that travels around the world, demonstrating, stalking, following, interfering is the cause of my hell. They are still on the job. Sometimes I hear some reference to them by others: For instance, I heard the news that someone was possibly pushed overboard of a cruise ship and on that day, the people on the ship were particularly rowdy and noisy. Everytime I have been attacked on spot, there have been rowdy crowds of strangers partying in the building. So I thought, possibly that person was stalked and pursued just like me and while he was suffering, they were making loud noises? When a (Russian-like) government premier was pushed off his chair by crowds of people pushing into the parlement one day and he was never heard of again, I said, it is the same group that persecutes me all the time. They are a power unto themselves and they have taken over the whole world or will in a short amount of time. Well, the real reason I write is to thank you for the box, which arrived today. I can hear the popcorn rattling inside but I have decided to wait a day before opening it. Thank you very much for whatever you sent. I will see tomorrow what it is. Thank the people for their invitations to Shayne. One of the things I wanted to discuss with her was a possible visit to the U.S. But I haven't been able to see her at all. She hasn't even seen the photo album on CD ROM. I was also preparing an application to one of the opportunities in the brochure you sent, but I can't get information from her to answer some of the questions, because I can't reach her. Obviously, soon I will probably have to approach the police or take some drastic measures to see if she is okay. Xmas is coming and this is the hell I have to be in. Well, take care.

Well Lucille,I am afraid I don't agree about Shayne. I believe she is in trouble, as when she was here last, she planned to do one or two things, like take some furniture out of this house, which she has done nothing about. What is more, I called her former work on Saturday (I was told by someone on Wednesday to call on Saturday), she came briefly to the phone, but didn't really talk. Thomas had walked up the street to see if she were in the location I thought she would be, however, that shop has apparently disappeared now and I think Shayne was in the closed building next door. Her roommate answered the phone but seemed to be somewhat confused when I try confirm her last name. The talk haven been so brief the first call, I called back three times and someone, not Shayne, would pick up the receiver, carry on with a conversion there on the premise and then hang up. Three times that happened. I find the whole affair bizarre (sp?). On the other hand, with all the physical assauts and damage I have suffered and my lack of income and work, I suppose that I cannot really be any real support to Shayne, as no one has been more abused and made more ridiculous than myself. So maybe I better let her stand on her own feet, though I believe she really needs help as does the whole society here. So much has run down, so many people are getting the same problems that I have been getting, false bills, impoverished resources, ill health, abuse, etc. Well, look at New Orleans, in a blink of an eye, a person can lose everything. Look at Irak, look at Pakistan, look all around....more people are joining me every day. Glad to hear you are feeling better. Take good care. Again, happy holiday season.

Dear Lucille,Thank you for the package. Yes. I have seen that New York and Chicago are deep in snow but here, it is not too bad. No snow at any rate.I stay up all night hating the suspense that always develops around Shayne. The other day I found an old letter, I gave to the police about the long disappearances and about my fears that she was in the control of vindictive people, who want to use her to punish me. Now I have become really dead inside. My body has been deliberately and brutally broken and my profession destroyed and the laws get harsher every day, like during WWII. My problems here never got resolved and each day, it gets harder to resolve them. Earlier this week, I called Shayne's former place of employment and the person, male, there said, she would be there after 1:00 on Saturday, that's today. It's 7 o'clock here. I have been up all night, as usual, working at the computer, because I am a nervous wreck. It's hard to eat anything, because the food is bad and usually requires of washing, before it can be consumed. And even then, I will often get a sore place in my mouth, from something that I chewed. I landed on a website honoring a great composer, whom I never heard of, who came from Armenia and had a lot of problems that reminded me of my life. For instance, to get permission to leave Russia, he had to submit his manuscripts to the authorities and some of the pages were removed. Luckily, he had negatives of the works which he smuggled out of Russia. However, after he arrived in the US, he had to turn over documents, like his diploma, signed by Shostikovich..(sp?) to the American authorities. And he never got them back, though he requested them. I remember how I had to stuff my initial blueprints for an improved magnetic bubble computer in my boot to preserve what was left of them, when I was allowed to return to Amsterdam in 1991 from Switzerland. Half of my money ($30,000) and papers of mine were stolen from my hotel room. I also lost 3 pairs of shoes, because of the confusion. We were lucky not to lose our lives. Eventually, I published my diagrams myself. Have a happy Xmas! I just hope I hear from Shayne before then.

Dear Lucille,No I have not been able to reach Shayne and have not heard from her. Xmas is almost upon us and I have no idea if I will even see her then. I just know that this is the way I have had to live here for the last 15 years. When Shayne was young, it was because of interfering outsiders and a disinterested parent, who kept her away from home most of the time. During one of these periods, she was taken to the Public Register, where her address was changed without my knowing and another time she was taken to get a passport, without my permission. Once she was taken to a hypnotist, way far away in Northern Holland. It is always a cat and mouse game, that fringes on a kidnapping but like international politics, nothing is ever said or allowed to be mentioned about the threat. The motto seems to go like this: If a tree falls in a forest and nobody mentions it, then did it even fall? I found this remedy on the Internet tonight (from a black newspaper), so I will pass it on, for all that it is worth:

Dear Lucille,In all honesty, the moral confusion we are getting into disappoints me. I realize you are under the weather and cannot do much. But it is at least some help when other people realize what is wrong or abnormal. You have decided to blame Shayne for the lag in communication, over and above my opinion, even though other mothers have been on TV here, complaining about similar things with their children. (And their daughters weren't to blame, either.) It's actually a political, social, international culture and not the individual wills of these victims. You also undermined my ability from here to see what is wrong in this environment. Today, for instance, the phone rang while I was asleep, after being up all night, and I missed the call. I called Shayne but got Voice. Later, I called her again. And the third time, I got a disconnection signal. I carefully checked the number in the mobile screen and it was dialed correctly. I stared at it a long time. Then I called her again and suddenly, I got Voice again. Clearly, the communication is unreliable just like the computers, the food, the airports, etc. Now I have to find a way to chase her down from my sickbed. You have to admit, it's not normal, if Shayne received a house from the government, to leave her items here in this house. Something is wrong. Xmas is coming up. But I don't whether she plans to come here or not. Santa Claus day has come and gone without a word from her. Now, if my word had not been challenged or regard sceptically 20 years ago, undoubtedly, I would have been able to have escaped so much abominable and racist violence, which has ruined me, my eyesight and everything in my life. I have always been honest. I am not un-perceptive. So please, just take my word for it, this is an unholy environment and unfornately, the airports are very unreliable in Europe. Many, many shows have shown foreigners and residents who never can get on the planes they reserved. Just yesterday a French woman was complaining and none of the workers in the airport spoke French, which was unusual in itself. Like many others, she was furious, claiming she had arrived in time for her flight and should be compensated for the fact that she could not board the plane. She asked for hotel accommodations, the airport could not comply. I don't know what happened to her. I just know there have been many more like her. It's really hell over here. For Xmas I would appreciate, if you sent another jar of popcorn kernels, while you can still find them. Thank you very much. And believe me, I am not given to frivolous whining and idle complaints. Shayne is basically a "hostage" of some sort and I don't know if she is ok. Every two weeks, I am back in the same situation.

Dear Lucille,I saw a show on TV yesterday that reminded me of my own situation. It featured two mothers and two daughters who were no longer enrolled in school, because they hated to attend. One was a black and the other a white. In the end, it turned out that the black girl was often locked in an empty room for hours at a time for days at a time, when she attended school. This girl seemed extremely pleasant during the interview and she had found a job working in a restaurant, which looked like a good situation. The students of the school where the white girl attended behaved rather furtively when the TV cameras were there. Students frowned in the lens and pulled hoods over their heads. Again, this girl seemed to be in a very negative environment, where she was made the scapegoat of the classroom. The black mother was very articulate and could describe the situation, so that others could follow it. She didn't want her daughter to stay in that kind environment, even though they both had dreamt of the daughter getting a diploma. Likewise, after the white girl was enrolled in another school, her grades shot right up. Both girls were notable, because they refused to communicate about their true situations. Their stories had to be uncovered by third parties. Now, I still haven't reached Shayne and Santa Claus day is a day away and I don't know if I will talk to her before then. Every occasion passes without remark. Because staying in touch is so hard here. I had been looking all over the Internet for a way I could stay in touch with Shayne. I looked at everything from Walkie Talkies to pagers to laptops to satellite telephones....and I discovered that the satellite telephones were virtually impossible to get. They cost from 3,000 to 5,000 dollars and they are mostly out of stock. Actually, it is a political, international type of problem. The West apparently lost the fight for control of this type of technology and so people in the West are losing their capabilities of communicating by reliable telephone. And today on the news, they announced that Blackberry (satellite telephone company but also B-e-r-r-y) was going to end the telephone service to people it had been supplying the service to. One man said he had grown dependent on the telephone and hated to have to give it up. But there is a patent battle going on and the West has apparently lost. So my point is, it is a trajedy to have to live like we have to live here and no word or news will ever be printed or televised about it. I know, it is not Shayne who is preventing the telephone communication. She had expressed interest in having her table again and various items of furniture she needs for her new house. But every message I leave is never responded to and everytime I call I get Voice. I will continue this letter, concerning other topics, next time. Have a good day.

Dear Lucille,How are you? Were you able to open the photo album? Unfortunately, Shayne hasn't seen it yet. I have been unable to reach her the last two weeks. How was Thanksgiving dinner with Miriam and Oscar? I bet it was delicious. Oddly, we never seem to be able to get together for Thanksgiving here.I have been learning about charter schools, recently. Apparently, some homeschoolers have founded schools in their own homes. What do you know about this, if anything? I think I will find some ways to incorporate the "Dolce Vocabulary list" in some of my interactive presentations. Well, just thought I would drop a line.

Dear Lucille,How disappointing it was to learn that one of the messages I sent earlier was never delivered. I forwarded it onto you this morning and hope you receive it this time. How is your dentist hunting? I hope you will find someone good this time. But fooling with people who are no good only makes things worse. Perhaps Miriam has a suggestion and maybe you will have to pay for it from your savings instead of the insurance? I say this because I am surprised that the insurance company would have a dentist like that on their list. And I suppose a complaint will only work against you with that company.Thanks so much for the cosmetics. I am really grateful. By the way, I just forwarded on two poems you sent to Shayne. Do you know anything about this chain letter series that seems to be going about? I noticed one of them featured Arden's name, so I wanted to forward it onto someone else. But if you don't know anything about these letters, let me know, because it will be somebody pretending to be whom they are not.Glad to know your spirits are not defeated. All I know is that a bridge would still be possible for you. But I also know that unless you have a big problem, take what happened as a warning and a lesson. All the time on the news there are worse mishaps that go on in the world than loosing a single tooth. Many good teeth of mine were pulled at the dentist, because I could not determine why I had such severe toothaches and the dentists took advantage of me and pulled perfectly cavity-free teeth. Tooth-pulling was all they offered. Most of them never gave me a clue as to what the real nature of the problem was or what remedy I could take, instead, to save my teeth. After the teeth were pulled, I still suffered from the tooth aches, even though there was no tooth there in the gap.Well, have a good day. Let me know if you received the undeliverable message I just sent once more to you.

Dear Lucille,Your letter was in the mail, even though the mail hadn't been downloaded yet. Anyway, shortly after you married D____, Raejeana was invited to go on a picnic with me, A___ and her fiance and D____ and you. She attended the same nursery as me. She lent me her record with piano music by Chopin. And before I could get in the car, I heard the record crack under my elbow. We tried to find the record at Lazarus but couldn't. Strange you had to lose a tooth which you were paying to have repaired. A dentist broke one of my teeth once and repaired it quickly. But then I had so much pain the following week, I asked him to remove the tooth, thinking it would release the pressure in my jaw, but the dentist left the floor of the tooth in place, while removing the crown. Later, in Ohio, another dentist told me that the other dentist had drilled clear through my jaw bone and apparently had left so much contamination under the jaw that the American dentist despaired of being able to ever help me. He put a temporary filling in a tooth. He had planned to do a complete overhaul of my mouth, using computers. But the massive damage the other dentist had taken away his confidence.

Dear Lucille,This is a quick note to thank you for the popcorn, which arrived the day before yesterday. Now that I have it in house, so to speak, I don't have such a huge craving to eat it. I get satisfied just knowing it is there and that I can eat it, if I want to. Needless to say I did have a large portion of popcorn yesterday.
As for my allergy, the thing is, I notice that the packaging on many food items bought here give rise to a violent itching on my arms and hands. Just a few days ago, I got this condition after breaking off a stalk of celery. And also I had opened a package of frozen fish. I immediately put vinegar and liquid detergent on my arms and hands and scrubbed heartily. Needless to say, a tiny insect sprung to the the surface and I washed him away and the itching stopped. Then I thought, it was actually my left arm that gave me the most problems, so I knew it was the package of frozen fish that caused it and not the celery, because I normally don't use my left hand in preparing food but I do use it a lot when I handle packaging.With junk mail, I believe, sometimes unknown people are deliberately sending paper products that have been contaminated in some ways. So the best thing is for you to just send them on, unopened. But don't open them yourself, because the contents might be contaminated.Sometimes air alone is enough to kill the active contents.Thanks so much for the formula W, because certain types of acne that appear from time to time, seem to be corrected with an application of this substance.I have recently found some great free business courses on the Internet. So far I have completed four them, including basic accounting and a marketing course. It takes several hours to complete a module, but it is a real good course and module and method of study. The courses are normally for sale but, for the sake, of obtaining statistical information, they are offered for free on the site where I discovered them.I will let you know if and when the Shayne-university situation is resolved. It is so hard to reach her by phone. I did reach this week at the appointed time. However, the next time won't come around until another week.I think your garden is stunning. I was looking at the pictures again just a day or two ago and thinking how beautiful it was.Have a good day.

Dear Lucille,I called the university this morning and asked if they had late enrollment procedure, so that Shayne might retain the scores on the tests she recently passed and something odd happened. There is such a thing as late enrollment but Shayne apparently was not enrolled. The same thing was told to Thomas, when he talked to personnel yesterday at another office. I had to call back to give the lady Shayne's student number, etc., in order to get a declartion of late enrollment. But when I called back, the next person I got on phone said Shayne was indeed enrolled. I, therefore, requested some evidence of that fact but was told they would only send it, if Shayne did not have a current receipt. But you know, this confusion is mind-boggling and it strikes me that something else may actually be going on. So now I am concerned about Shayne's welfare. She was recently offered a house, which she was going to accept yesterday. But it is suspicious that records have already started going off, if you know what I mean. This led me to invite her for the umpteenth time to live in the extra room here, whenever she wants, because it is a dog's world. I have also been looking at the descriptions of online universities, where you can study at your computer. It is sounding more attractive to me. I hope things will work out o.k. Up to now, though, she hasn't been able to live in peace without the shadow of my experience here (outrageous) overshadowing her own existence. That's why I know that her situation is not her fault. But she was so young, I could never explain it to her. Prejudice and deception and outright cruelty and murder is hard to explain to a young person.

Dear Lucille,You made my day when you told me "everyone asked about me." What a pleasure it was to hear that J__ was there. I am sorry to hear B____ suffered a stroke. Despite all our struggles, in the end, I will always remember him as the handsome lawyer with a tennis court in his backyard, cool. And I will always remember J___ as the mother of three princesses. What a pleasure that Dr. ___V___ are still a handsome couple. And what sorrow! That Lazarus is gone. Lazarus was the king of stores, in my opinion, the first store to offer credit to its customers in the whole of the United States. And everyone always had a success story to tell about Lazarus. Raejeana once admitted that she had taken back a pair of unworn gloves, 5 years after she bought them. Me, I remember, the sweater taken off of one of sales tables and given to me, after I lost my vest in one of the changing rooms, etc. Well, Lazarus was still intact when I returned in 1989 and saved the day for my wardrope. Two days before arriving in the U.S., I had visited my Chinese dentist and my weight tripled by the time I got off the plane in Columbus. Clothes that had fit just a week before had to be chucked out. I couldn't even get my leg in pants I had just tried on a few days before in Amsterdam. Now I know the reason for the distortion to my appearance that occurred when I arrived in Columbus. If I had just not decided to visit the dentist before coming to the US, I would have looked like a different person. I have the photos to prove it.Well, before nodding off, I listened to the cassette, this time with a female preacher. Again, it was a subject that had some relevance to my present situation. And also some relevance to the research I was doing. For instance, Jacob's name was changed to Israel after restling with God and having his "hip joint" hurt. (Needless to say, by the way, hip joint pains are familiar to me). And one of the most colorful characters from the colonial period, who might have even have been "Benedict Arnold" or closely associated with him was Israel Putnam. Putnam was also reputed to have received a leg wound during one of his battles, which left him with a limp, as did Benedict Arnold. Well, the sermon reminds me that some of the allusions to leg wounds might have been metaphorical and not literal. And yes, I even had my "wrestle" with God, but I don't want to talk about it now.Well, your trip produced some happy memories. But I really found it humorous, that they had been video-taping the ceremony. I have to get back to my worries about Shayne and the university, etc.Have a good day.

Dear Lucille,My heart is very heavy because we are really going through a repugnant ordeal with Shayne's college enrollment. Evidently the school was sold to new management and the system switched to a semester system, so this past year when she came back in late September and didn't re-enroll, she took classes, passed exams but got no credit for her coursework and was left with a bill of almost a thousand gulders for not turning in a student identification card. Then she went in February and got re-enrolled. But again, it was only for half a year. I was beaten to a pulp in September but when I began to get on my feet again in October, I tried to remind her to get re-enrolled, but it was already late October and apparently too late. Today, she informed me she got high grades on exams she took recently but according to the University, she is again not enrolled. It is difficult to see on the receipt they give, because it states re-enrolled from 2005-2006 but then in the dark strip at the bottom of the card, it states from Feb to Sept. Really hard to see. The other thing is that she needs to turn in her student card, because they charge 136 dollars a month for her to carry it. What a nightmare! And what is more, the university is all mixed up in its red tape. It never receives mail that we send. And we never receive mail that it is supposed to send us. We have received about 20 bills for 136 dollars. When I talked to the "call center" myself, I was told she old the money, because she was not enrolled. Now they tell Tom, tha tshe owes the money, even if she is enrolled. Also there are never any dates on the bills. I am so depressed over this. I think I will apply for a fellowship for Shayne in her field from the information you sent. That information was old, but at the website, they give current information about programs one can apply for. Unfortunately, though, I had a allergic reaction to the pamphlet you sent. I wonder if I should trust a program, whose literature makes me so unwell?

Dear Lucille,I called and Tom was in. He said he had a dental appointment this morning and that was why he came in late. I sure feel sorry for whoever was involved in the accident today. Luckily, this was one crisis that we did not have to suffer.Tom was viewing websites on the XS4all system this weekend, for he is now ready to make a website himself and is trying to get up the courage to do it. Some people manage to make some beautiful websites, when they are expecting a child or have a hobby or even just giving directions to their homes. I always enjoy looking at these creations. Most of my free websites have vanished now and I made mine, using free materials offered then on the Internet and using HTML code, but since those days, sophisticated software has gone on the market and people can make websites much easier now. My websites are full of ads and hastily done. In due time, however, most other people eventually get their chance to do something special--like make a website --and they make very good ones. Most of these, you never see on the Internet and they are probably the best ones.As for me, I discovered a new aspect to my activities, that allows me to improve their quality. I recently completed an intro for use on a business card (miniature CD) and a interactive page for kids. Of course, everything was made in PowerPoint and is offline. But now my projects can conform better to similar ideas I have seen by other people. But the kids educational software industry has really leaped ahead this past year and they have some beautiful examples on the Internet. I could spend hours, viewing the activities they have for kids, like multimedia stories, where some game techniques are employed, plus beautiful illustrations, that look as if they were painted directly onto your computer screen. And many of the ideas are like my own but implemented so professionally. They can use software that allows each word to be heard or allows an animated segment to be inserted in places, making really really dynamic instructional materials. I have been making small interactive exercises that can be viewed in PowerPoint and which are small in size, so can be sent in the email.

Dear Lucille,It is 11:00 here and I just received a phone call from Thomas's boss, asking whether he had left for work, as he hadn't come in yet. He asked if Tom had a mobile. But he doesn't. Later in the ticker tape below the local news broadcast, I read that there was a fatal traffic accident in Vianan, in an area that Thomas might pass through on the way to work. Recently, he had to change his route into Rotterdam, so naturally I am wondering if he is Okay, as he would have no way to notify anyone, if he needed help. I'll call his work in about an hour. But communication might break down, while I sort out what might have happened. So I am writing this to let you know, what might be happening here, in case, I am no longer able to communicate by email, etc. I sure hope he is Okay.

Dear Lucille,I finally got Shayne on the phone today. I am so glad, because her next work assignment was apprently not until November 12 and it would have been excriciating trying hold out for two more weeks until I had any reassurance. She happened not to be at her house over the weekend and apparently she received the money Okay and had paid off the final term of her driving lessons. I told her she has to re-enroll according the enrollment card I have here, which says she is enrolled from Feb to Sept but she thinks she is enrolled from Sept to Sept. She says she thought her card stated that. She better make sure or they will charge another 700 euros just for the use of her transportation pass. There is a great deal of "red tape" confusion all the time. I am so sorry for the great concern I raised. I really did not do it on purpose nor inconsiderately. It is just it has been six weeks at least since I talked with her and all the other worries and concers. Well, once again, for the umpteenth time, I have had a load lifted off my shoulders. I made an arrangement to call on a certain at a certain hour once a week. So I hope she will abide by the agreement. She really didn't acknowledge having received the Voice messages. She says they are too long or something. Well. Thanks again for your help. As for the purple hair conditioner, it smells wonderful and I am sure it will do a lot for my hair. Thank you.

Dear Lucille,I am very weak. Still I dragged myself out of bed and dressed to go out. Between 12 and 1 o'clock, I got on the tram to visit Shayne. Unfortunately, no one at all answered the bell. Then I tried at her places of work but they were closed. So I came back and told Tom and his response was dreadful. He mocked me and never responded to anything I suggested. For instance, he recently finished filling forms to make over a large sum of money to Shayne, spread over the next three years. When he was filling the forms, I begged him to deposit the money in a lump sum into the joint Savings Account I shared with Shayne, as that account was unknown by others and they have never done anything unfair. But he refused. He signed to have the money deposited in an account that other persons, including the "deurwaarders"=bill collectors had the right to withdraw funds. When Shayne went to Peru, I discovered that severals forms had been signed by her, giving "friends" of hers the power to withdraw funds from that account. But, as always, Tom could not cooperate with me and did it his way. So when I got back, I told him, he should stop all payments into her bank account, because if she is okay, she would surface when she had too little funds. But Tom just made some kind of infuriating, indecent response. I realized as I have always realized that when something big happens I have to do all the details completely by myself. I have a phone number of the police but I didn't call them today, as I felt his attitude, as her so-called father, put an obstruction in my way and I don't want to fight over him and the circumstances of her disappearance at the same time. All day he sat at the computer and came up with no suggestion. Therefore, I have gone on strike from the tasks I usually perform here. Talking to him, I understand that he always blamed me for Shayne's birth and never took any responsibility for being her father. He virtually washed his hands of the whole business from day1. Every obscene and evil circumstance that he saw me undergo, he lied about to outsiders. He left me defenceless against a hostile, violent community that singled me out for persecution. Even today, I could not go out to Shayne's house without the trams running irregularly and hoards of tourists or demonstrators, or whatever they are, coming out onto the streets as I returned. Earlier I watch a report about Russia where many citizens were experiencing the type of corruption I have been experiencing. Raiding of bank accounts, retroactive laws that can override earlier ones, people who completely owned their houses and businesses being forced out of them, onto the street and no legal recourse. That is what my daily bread has been the last 10 years. And I am not imagining anything. Have you ever noticed how many Shane's are on TV these days. Just yesterday, there was a review of a new movie about "Shane Black." Besides being "black humor" it has a scene where someone loses a finger by a door being slammed on it. The same thing that happened to me, I lost part of the top digit of my finger when a door slammed on it. In short, I see references to our names and my life all the time on TV, like it's a public joke. And every since Shayne has been born this community has conspired to lure her out of my control.